Hell Frozen Over
by Plain.Game
Summary: A Bianchi-overdose, a deranged Gokudera and a pleased Yamamoto taking advantage. Poor Gokudera…or poor Tsuna, who has to watch and take care of everything. Mild, sorta cracky 8059. Formerly Days of Madness.
1. The KO Blow

Summary: A Bianchi-overdose, a deranged Gokudera and a pleased Yamamoto taking advantage. Poor Gokudera…or poor Tsuna, who has to watch and take care of everything.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters for KHR, nor the background concepts, the story—_anything_. They all belong to…that Akira guy? (Too lazy to look it up)

Warnings: deliberate OOC-ness and concepts bordering on…crack, is it called? And mild shonen-ai (more one-sided than anything, really).

* * *

><p>[Lately…]<p>

Lately, Gokudera had been just a little bit quieter than his usual jubilant albeit violent self, Sawada Tsunayoshi noted.

He didn't exactly know _how _it was actually a problem, but the feeling wasn't right without him taking drags out of his cigarette in that laidback manner and bombing others who seemed to hold the annoyance of an irksome fly around their group.

It was scary. Maybe not scarier than the whole future arc period they went through and the deal with the Shimon family thing, but it was still pretty fricken' scary.

The most significant difference was neither the violence nor the absence of the pack of cigarettes; it was the threats. Seriously; _where were the hourly threats to Yamamoto nowadays?_

Yamamoto stretched his arms up before placing them behind his head. "Ahh~! Good weather today, isn't it?"

"Oh god, shut up…" muttered Gokudera as the three of them walked towards Namimori High School much like they did in Junior High.

"Now, now, it's not good to be so cranky in the mornings, Gokudera!" remarked Yamamoto, brushing off the laser-beam glare the Storm guardian was piercing him with. "And I suggest you pick up a new thing to love too instead of smoking cigarettes all day."

"What I do is of no concern to you, bastard!"

Yamamoto laughed off the never-ending curses the silver-haired boy threw at him and Tsuna saw Gokudera shift just slightly in discomfort.

'_What was that?' _thought Tsuna. It was strange enough that he had said the previous "shut up" and "bastard" without a caps lock and an exclamation mark riding with them, but now he was…nervous? Around Yamamoto? Sure, Gokudera did acknowledge Yamamoto as a trusted comrade-in-arms—working together in the mafia for four years did that to people—and Yamamoto considered himself the unofficial-official partner of the unofficial-official right-hand man of the Vongola Decimo, but never did Gokudera look so…unnerved by the taller boy's presence.

Annoyed, yes. Grudging respect, yes.

Nervous like a middle school boy surrounded by girls?

_Gokudera_?

Tsuna just wished things would feel _right _again.

:.

But no.

God never liked him in the first place; he should have never even hoped. Sawada Tsunayoshi, despite having helped rescued everyone and returning everyone back to the past and settling a long, long family feud, he was welcomed with this:

A passed out Gokudera in the school nurse's place…if you can really count the perverted Dr. Shamal as a nurse.

.

"_Gokudera-kun, my mum told me to give you this; it's a _bentou_."_

"_Wah_―_? For me?" the Italian transfer exclaimed in shock. Tsuna nodded, smiling. _

"_We made it together yesterday_; _Gokudera-kun doesn't ever seem to eat much healthy homemade food, so we thought_―_"_

_By now, Gokudera was practically crying, unwrapping the o_bentou _box. "I'm overjoyed-su! I will definitely eat_―!_"_

_And then there was silence._

_.  
><em>

'_Why didn't I realize that the competitive Bianchi would have swapped the lunches?' _Tsuna's mind screamed in dismay, hands gripping the sides of his head.

Gokudera had eaten the lunch―tears of a different sort shining in his eyes then―against his better judgment in order to not hurt his boss's feelings…just as Bianchi had come into the room and hugged him, saying something like that was the first time (apart from the time when he was 6 at his piano recital) he ate her food willingly. Gokudera had doubled up with horror and fell unconscious immediately, twitching.

Sometimes, he wished that Gokudera wasn't so freakin' loyal―it'd be better for the both of them, that's for sure.

"He doesn't seem to be waking up…" commented Tsuna in a horrified squeak. At 17 years of age, it appeared the older the silver-haired boy got, the worst his condition came to be around his sister instead of better.

Whoever said Time Healed Everything was a jerk who didn't know shit.

"Don't worry― remember; once he didn't wake up for several hours at my place!" said Yamamoto as though what he said was assuring. "Give everything a little time, care and love and they'll be back on their feet―"

Tsuna gave him a pointed look and promptly jabbed a finger over at Gokudera's bedside, where an overly-concerned Bianchi sat, trying to make her brother open his eyes and look at her.

A split second pause rested before Yamamoto merely grinned (albeit nervously) and jovially remarked , "There's always exceptions!" His ringing laugh made the 17 year old Vongola Decimo worry even more.

"You guys should go back to class―we will handle Gokudera," stated Reborn.

'We' consisted of Bianchi (who was still trying to get her brother to look at her), Shamal (who was eying Bianchi's leather-clad rear) and Reborn (who was clipping in a new magazine in his well-used gun). Tsuna's anxiety skyrocketed.

"I-I think I'll stay…!"

Reborn aimed his gun at Tsuna's head with an innocent smile. "Tsuna, the clock is ticking."

He cocked the gun just for good measure.

Petrified, Tsuna allowed himself to be dragged by a laughing Yamamoto, saying goodbye and asking them to inform him of Gokudera's revival. Reborn holstered his gun before glancing at Gokudera and then at the door in which the two had left from.

"The unity of the Family shall further increase," he smiled knowingly.

:.

"What? Gokudera still hasn't woken up?"

The two classmates walked down the path to school this time with the absence of Gokudera and his cigarette smoke, much to their unease. The day was sunny and fresh―a perfect day for a walk, and yet the silver-haired teen was not with them and had reportedly been staying at the school overnight.

Tsuna nodded worriedly. "Yeah, that's what Reborn said…"

Yamamoto contemplated for a while, a frown on his face. "I see. Let's go check up on him after class―maybe he'll be awake then, huh?"

"Yeah," smiled Tsuna weakly. "I think the triple-shock he received yesterday was a bit too much to handle."

That was the understatement of the year.

Bianchi's face + Bianchi's food + Bianchi's loving hug = Gokudera Hayato's life expectancy – 30 years.

After an uneventful class with students wondering where the genius delinquent Gokudera was, Tsuna and Yamamoto had left straight after the bell to the nurse's office. Unfortunately, Gokudera was still not yet awake, and was laid in the bed in the exact same position as the day before. The only sign of life was the periodic twitch of his eyebrow. As Yamamoto seated himself on the bedside chair, Tsuna turned to Shamal for an explanation.

"I really don't know," the doctor had said, leaning back on his chair, bored. "But I don't think there's anything to worry about when it comes to his physical health."

And so they waited once again.

:.

_The next day, Sunday…_

"D-DISASTER!"

Yamamoto, who had been at the batting centre without much success (sick friends tended to distract him), turned and saw a devastated Tsuna, looking like the apocalypse just came.

"W-what it is, Tsuna?" he asked, more than a little startled.

"G-Gokudera-kun is awake!"

"Eh?"

"But―"

"Explain later, let's go!" said the taller boy, grabbing his arm and dragging him as they ran to the school.

"Yamamoto―" Tsuna huffed out.

"Yeah?"

"Don't―" They raced around a corner, "Go", Yamamoto expertly dodged a car, "Near him!" he gasped out. _'It's scary, really scary!'_

They burst through the doors of the office. Tsuna slumped to the ground exhausted while Yamamoto stood there motionless. Shamal appeared to be nowhere― eying the knocked over chair and scattered papers, it looked like the doctor made a run for it, though for whatever reason he was not sure. Reborn merely stared ahead, expressionless. His answered lay in front of him, just behind the curtains surrounding the bed which gave patients their much needed privacy. Yamamoto approached and parted them to the side.

"Yamamoto, NOOOOO!" he heard Tsuna dramatically cry from behind him.

He suddenly felt a pair of cold but smooth hands touch the sides of his face as Yamamoto stared down into familiar green eyes.

"Wow, you're pretty cute!" he heard before suddenly he felt somebody plant one on him.

Tsuna fainted.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: A fic I wrote on whim years and years ago; it's short, pointless and rather stupid—just for laughs (hopefully) and to keep my fingers busy typing back then. It's mild OOCYamaGoku since I had that pairing forced on me back then via a crazy Reborn fanatic of a friend. Two more chapters of OOC Gokudera. :D

Leave me your thoughts if it made any impression. (But don't mention plot, since there isn't really anything epic, as previously stated).


	2. The Futile Struggle  With Reality

Thank you so much to my sole reviewer, **Rinatsu**; this chapter's yours haha. ;)

* * *

><p>"I'm here…"<p>

"Good timing; Gokudera has made _dame_-Tsuna faint three times now. They just left for the vending machines," explained Reborn to the worn-out Mafia doctor, Shamal. Said doctor looked like he woke up from a horrible, horrible nightmare.

"So I just need to wake up the next boss, eh? A good kick in the head'll—"

"No, we need you to fix a certain bomb expert," said Reborn, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Shamal scratched the back of his head through his messy hair, sighing tiredly.

"But I told you, I don't treat—"

"Well, that's fine," interrupted the Arcobaleno smoothly, "but Gokudera seems to have developed a woman's touch over the last hour and if Bianchi sees him…." Reborn gave his trademark smile with an extra prominent glint in his eye. "She'll geld you."

"Woman's touch?" said the Trident Hitman, sounding almost revolted. "That guy? That guy has as much home ec. skills as a brain-dead squirrel, yet alone a woman's—"

Then a loud, almost cheerful cry came from the door which had just slammed open.

"Ah, Shamal!"

Enter the stunned silence.

There stood Gokudera, ecstatic, at the doorway still wearing his crumpled school uniform and an extra brilliant smile. The smile almost blinded the doctor with its brilliance. Yamamoto soon appeared behind with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, just got him some candy," he explained.

Everyone (excluding the knocked-out Tsuna and Yamamoto) raised an eyebrow. _Candy_?

Gokudera smiled warmly at Shamal (who felt like cringing). "Gosh, it feels like I haven't seen you in, like, forever!" He then laughed as though he said a funny joke.

There was a pregnant pause.

Slowly, Shamal's head rotated and his horror-struck gaze met with Reborn's own.

"This is…some seriously scary _shit _that is _so not in my job description_."

"So I will take that as you will treat him?"

A resigned sigh. It was an unwritten law that 'request' was a synonym of 'order' when coming from Reborn's mouth. Shamal may be good, but Reborn was the best hitman in the world.

"If I can," he finally allowed.

_:._

_The next day..._

_'How did this happen...?' _thought Tsuna.

Despite his house already being in disarray from Lambo (officially 8 years old but still as annoying as hell) and I-pin (who now looked like her high school counterpart in miniature), Tsuna had even more troublesome things to deal with ever since yesterday.

"Mornin', Tsuna!" greeted Yamamoto from his place at the said boy's dining table. "I dropped by a little early, sorry—oh, and Gokudera is here too, look!"

Tsuna didn't want to look, but for some reason he discovered his inner masochist and his body defied his wishes, turning anyway to face the place Yamamoto had pointed at.

He almost—just almost—screamed.

"Go-Gokudera-kun?" he shouted.

"Good morning, _juudaime_!" greeted Gokudera in a sunny voice; Tsuna could have sworn he saw a flowery background behind him like some sort of shoujo manga. "Great day, eh?"

This would have seemed normal if not for the fact that Gokudera was wearing a pair of _kiddy overalls_.

What the Hell was with one of the straps hanging off one shoulder like a girly fashion statement? And the lopsided cap and grin?

And _why _was a startling picture of **Astroboy **on Gokudera's shirt—which, might he add, was pale yellow?

"A-ah...A-astro-b-bo..y...? !"

Yamamoto explained how he had borrowed some of his cousin's clothes and lent them to Gokudera, who couldn't find his house keys to get back home. "I think he lost them in class when his sister came in," Yamamoto said, turning to face him. "Huh, Tsuna? Tsuna? Are you alright—hey, Tsuna—!"

"You gotta kick him like this!" came a voice followed by said demonstration. Tsuna's face met the kitchen floor with an impressive slam.

"O-ow! Why'd you do that, Reborn?"

"Stop whining, Tsuna; you've already fainted three times over the past 24 hours so stop adding to the count." What a heartless kindergartener.

"Geez," said Tsuna, wincing as he rubbed the back of his head. "But that was really well-behaved for someone like Gokudera-kun, don't you think?"

Thinking back on the normal Gokudera, Tsuna can imagine easily how he would have dealt with his locked door when he was keyless; add some C4 and get a new door.

"For the meanwhile..." Reborn turned to Yamamoto, who blinked in surprise. "Take care of Gokudera."

Yamamoto smiled a strange smile, looking disturbingly happy.

"_Yorokonde_ (my pleasure)."

:.

"Come to think about it," said Tsuna out aloud, walking alongside Reborn, "Yamamoto doesn't seem affected by..." His face suddenly darkened and appeared slightly horrified, "that incident...at...in the..."

"Indeed," said the 4 year old Arcobaleno without as much as a bat of an eyelash (_'Wait a minute; does Reborn even blink?' _thought Tsuna). "And yes I do blink; I'm still human after all—"

"Stop reading my mind!" Then Tsuna stopped walking, shopping bags hanging limp in his hands. "But isn't it...strange?"

"How so?"

"'How so', you say..." said Tsuna with a slight frown. Having a guy like Gokudera suddenly claim you are cute and kiss you might be a dream for most high school girls, but Tsuna doubted it would have the same effect on a guy. He knows that he would probably faint (which he did when Gokudera merely hugged him with a smile) if something like that happened to his precious lips' virginity. But instead Yamamoto, strangely enough, appeared just like one of those High School fan girls of Gokudera's, minus the squealing, nose bleed, swooning and fainting. So basically he seemed like the normal Yamamoto.

_'Can it be Yamamoto...liked Gokudera-kun in _that_ way?' _thought Tsuna, hand on his chin as he continued his path to his house from the shops. Then he almost laughed to himself. _'Can't be. Gokudera-kun has always pitted against Yamamoto as a rival...and Yamamoto, who is constantly liked, must feel relieved that Gokudera-kun isn't trying to kill him anymore...' _he assured himself.

"Naïve."

"Stop reading my mind, I tell you!"

Reaching the Sawada residence, Tsuna opened the door. "I'm bac― _Dino-san_?"

Sure enough, the Cavallone 10th Generation Boss was there at his house...knocked out on his couch. Sawada Nana had taken the initiative to fan the poor boy as he laid there, brow twitching.

"W-what happened here?" Instantly Tsuna's eyes scanned the vicinity; nope, no Bianchi in the presence. So what exactly...? "_Kaa-san_, why is Dino-san...?"

Nana smiled apologetically as she waved her hand in embarrassment, "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop him in time..." Then she blushed like a young school girl, hands over her cheeks. "But it was _so _adorable...I just had to take a picture."

Reborn and Tsuna's eyebrow's twitched. _'What picture...?'_

Nana dished out something from her apron pockets. "Here!"

At one glance, Tsuna immediately keeled over and fell onto the ground, legs twitching.

"Ah, Tsu-kun!"

Reborn took his time and examined the photo with no change in expression as Tsuna was heaved onto some cushions.

"I see. It's getting pretty serious then."

Nana merely smiled her trademark smile. "When he kissed Dino-kun on his cheek and hugged him, Dino-kun just froze up!" She gave a small laugh. "I guess the shock was too much for him."

"Seems so," said Reborn, hopping onto the couch arm and staring down at his ex-students face. He harshly poked Dino's forehead. Dino merely twitched some more before rolling to the side, blush on his cheeks. "In some cases, this could be a useful tool of Gokudera's," he smiled. "This ability to knock out somebody without even fighting."

"_Ara, ara_, but Gokudera-kun is so very cute now," said Nana with a bright smile much like Gokudera's. "Like the daughter I've always wanted. _Iyaaan_! I want to take him clothes shopping!" she said as though she got a new child.

"_Dame yo _(you can't), Gokudera!" came a voice from the kitchen in a slight scolding voice.

Gokudera merely pouted stubbornly on his chair, pulling his hat further down his head as he listened to Yamamoto's lecture. "You can't just go around kissing people like that, ne?"

"But...he looked cute that time," mumbled the _bomb expert_. Jeesh, the world worked in funny ways.

Yamamoto let out an exasperated sigh, ruffling his hair as he stared down at the boy still wearing an Astroboy shirt and childish denim overalls. "I don't know what to say to make you stop acting impulsively..." Staring around, Yamamoto suddenly said, "I know!" with his right fist lightly thumping into his left palm. "If you ever feel the need to kiss someone, you can kiss me!"

A newly-revived Tsuna keeled over again at the kitchen entranceway, something dripping at the corner of his mouth: he had officially just heard the most disturbing sentence _ever_.

And he had thought Yamamoto was the most normal one.

"Oh, Tsuna." Yamamoto blinked, sensing the commotion. "Everyone seems to be collapsing nowadays. Anyway, you understand now, Gokudera?"

At 17 years of age, Gokudera looked very odd with the childish display of clothing and behaviour replacing the usual. His endless accessories, including a belt full of Boxes and rings to match on his fingers, were absent and the gothic necklaces were nowhere to be seen. If there was a competition for the most Out of Character character, Gokudera would beat everybody by leaps and miles, no question. Though a formidable rival would be Yamamoto.

But that doesn't matter right now.

"Here, Gokudera," said Reborn suddenly, tossing Gokudera the multiple chains he often wore on his pants. The difference was that they held the Boxes on the three chains; 5 one the longest one, 4 on the middle one, and 3 on the last. "Just attach that on the side. And here are your rings; don't lose them."

As Gokudera curiously looked his accessories his un-insane self wore, Yamamoto smiled, "So you're going to keep including him in this Mafia thing?"

Tsuna appeared out of nowhere, clinging onto the door frame for support as he spluttered, "No! We must change Gokudera-kun back to normal! It'll be too dangerous to have him run into others like..._that," _he finished in a disgusted voice, seeing Gokudera hug onto Yamamoto's arm after he attached all his accessories back on. Yamamoto turned from Gokudera to look at Tsuna with a raised eyebrow.

"Change him back? Why?"

"What do you mean '_why'_?" exclaimed Tsuna incredulously. Yamamoto did his trademark dumbfounded expression.

"Well," he smiled, a twinkle in his eye, "don't you think he's just...so _perfect _now?"

Tsuna had never heard something so wrong in his entire life.

:.

_"There's nothing wrong with him."_

_"What the Hell do you mean _there's nothing wrong_? Look at him!"_

_Gokudera saw the ground from a slit behind the curtains and gave a big, childish wave with an equally stupid grin._

_"Nothing is wrong with him...physically," said Shamal. Comprehension dawned on Reborn's face as he mumbled, "I see."_

_Tsuna sweat-dropped. "So we got a mentally unhealthy Gokudera-kun on our hands. He's a _bomb expert _I tell you!"_

_"Isn't this fun?" said Yamamoto jovially. Tsuna stared at him in a way which read _are-you-retarded, _only for it to be futile._

_"Anyway, as the Boss of the Family, you must take care of your subordinates, Tsuna."_

_"EHHH?"_

"I don't really get what's happening," spoke up Yamamoto from his place at the table, "but you gotta admit, Gokudera's acting is really, really good! He's like a new person! Eh, Tsuna? Haha, you're staring at me like you think I'm utterly retarded!" His ringing laughter disturbed Tsuna.

They had known Gokudera for about 4 years now. By this time, even Yamamoto had to notice the Italian-Japanese boy had pride bigger than Russia, stronger than diamond, and fiercer than a ravenous lion after it gets poked in its eye by its prey. Anyone who didn't notice this over that amount of time was utterly, totally, stupidly retarded. Amen.

But ignorance and denial were always tricky illusions to dispel.

"Yamamoto, I'm just going to tell you once, so listen carefully; he is _not _acting. And that is why this is dangerous."

"Really? Are you sure he's not just trying to be extra friendly after all these years?"

Tsuna slapped his forehead.

Staring out the window at the setting sun, determination on his face, Tsuna new he was the only sane one left to take care if the problem. He didn't like being a Mafia boss, nor the fact he must call his friends subordinates, but Tsuna could count on one thing:

He will revert Gokudera back no matter what.

And now we salute the brave and noble Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Good luck, Tsuna.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Rushed randomness as usual. Comment?


	3. Futileness and Hope

Apologies for the late update—I totally forgot about this fic for a while haha ^^" Enjoy! Oh, btw, I suggest reading in 3/4 format, easier on the eyes I reckon.

This more-or-less final chapter goes to yui33aki, my second reviewer, and lynixe, who also took time to review. Thanks guy :')

* * *

><p><strong>The Futile Attempts...<strong>

"_Juudaime_, look!" Gokudera beamed as he spun around in the new clothes he had bought with the one and only mother of the 10th Generation Boss of the Vongola Family. "They're new! And they feel _sooo _soft~!" He started to laugh in a way that could only been deemed as insane.

Gokudera had, actually, become insane. That was the most favored hypothesis. Reborn did say that he had been doing the work of about 10 people for the Vongola family without complaint, but the stress—in the forms of Bianchi and others—must have built up somewhere and damaged very important parts of his cerebral cortex involving personality. This was proven by his extremely terrifying out-of-character-ness as well as the evil, unrestrained cackle he was giving off now.

And now Tsuna is wondering _why _he was with Yamamoto, Reborn and his mum shopping (more like standing around while Tsuna's mum dragged around Gokudera and made him try on clothes) when he should be home _not _scared shitless. It was weird to say, but boy, did he miss the old Gokudera. Yes, the Gokudera who blew up things on random, half-killed living things which were labeled as a threat ― half-killed things which weren't even _living _― and scared kids.

Tsuna sighed. That determination before really was as useless as he was 5 years ago.

"Gokudera-kun, _so cute_~!" cooned Nana while Yamamoto―yes, _Yamamoto_― nodded in agreement at the next outfit which they made Gokudera try on. Oh look, it was a Pokemon shirt this time. Who would have guessed.

"_Okaa_-_san_, we shouldn't be doing this to Gokudera-kun when he's in this unstable condition―" started Tsuna only to be cut off.

"_Maa, maa_, just leave it be; I'm sure he'll return to normal eventually," smiled Yamamoto reassuringly. As if. Yamamoto looked like Christmas came early when Gokudera was in that state. Tsuna could only imagine the sort of things Yamamoto would make Gokudera do (and no, don't think too far ahead, 8059 fans) when he was like this. It was fortunate the silver-head did not stay with Yamamoto during this crisis.

Wait.

"Reborn," Tsuna suddenly spoke up, "Actually, where _is _Gokudera-kun staying?" The landlord of the place Gokudera lived in was gone for holiday for the week, and so they had no _normal _means of getting into his house without a spare key.

Reborn, sitting on the boys shoulder, said one name he wished he did not hear.

"Yamamoto, of course; maman is already taking care of so many people, and Yamamoto was willing."

_'Oh yeah, willing to bed with Gokudera-kun by the looks of it,' _ thought Tsuna darkly. Then he shook his head vigorously, cringing; by the looks of things, and how Gokudera was so screwed up in the head, that situation might actually happe―

_'NO! Don't think about it!' _cried Tsuna's mind in anguish, hands gripping his head. _'Better just to keep following them and prevent anything too disastrous happening...anyway, I'm probably over thinking when it comes to Yamamoto...' _He looked up and let out a strangled sort of gasp.

Gokudera was feeding Yamamoto what appeared to be caramelized popcorn.

_'When did-!'_

"_Hai, _Tsu-kun; here's yours," came his mothers voice from behind him. He turned around and stared at the small package of candy popcorn that was placed in his hand. Then he stared at Yamamoto, who was smiling fondly down at Gokudera. Then at Gokudera, still feeding Yamamoto like it was the greatest joy in the world.

He promptly declined the popcorn.

:.

"Wahh! It's weird to admit, but Gokudera-san _is _cute!" breathed Haru almost in awe as she stared at Gokudera sporting his new clothes (which, if the normal Gokudera saw, would be promptly reduced to nothingness by some conveniently placed C4). She had dropped by with German sachetorte only to stumble across the unearthly sight of Gokudera.

"Isn't he?" gushed Nana. Gokudera practically became a new son to the housewife; it was something else to have a son who was actually capable at school work and sports, explosive-obsessed tendencies aside. Tsuna was lying down on the couch, exhausted to the bone marrow. With a very good reason too.

They had bumped into 4 different individuals along their way in the town. One was Longchamp who, with his never-ending energy, introduced them to his new girlfriend who was the size of a baby whale and had dragged Gokudera around the town to introduce him to a girlfriend. Out of concern for the messed-up Italian's welfare, Tsuna and Yamamoto sprinted after the disappearing pair and rescued him just in time from the clutches of a thing which was supposedly female, but possessed the revolting body of a male body builder and teeth like a shark. Yamamoto had to hush Gokudera from his stricken state (he had been shocked into trauma—an expression that made him look like the normal Gokudera) and had lent his shoulder to support (drag) Gokudera back to the Sawada mother.

And then there was Ryohei and Kyoko, Kyoko instantly commenting on Gokudera's change of style and gave them all lollipops which she had just bought. Ryohei exclaimed that the threesome didn't need candy like that ("for we are men!") and had taken away the candy. It was the wrong move, for Gokudera, with his face looking as though he was younger by 10 years, started to sniffle, face crumpling. At the sight of Gokudera's newly-formed tears, Ryohei had been taken-aback and had apologized profusely without quite knowing why.

"I feel like I just picked on somebody weaker than me—like some small animal," he had muttered, utterly disturbed by the unresisting Gokudera who would have picked a fight with him already and possibly blown him to smithereens.

_"I don't know what he ate, but I'll leave it to you, Sawada."_

Tsuna felt the weight of another person's hope on his shoulders.

And lastly there was Hibari. Gokudera almost got _bitten to death _after he had casually stated that Hibari, yes, _that _Hibari, was _gorgeous. _Reborn had to convince Hibari that picking on someone as pathetic as Gokudera was at the moment was going to ruin his image. Hibari left without a word, and Gokudera lived to see another day, even if his dignity had all but shattered.

But of course, in all hopeless-looking situations, there comes a spark of hope, even if it _was _deadly―like, Poison deadly.

Yes, well spotted.

:.

"Hayato!"

The door slammed open, revealing a harassed-looking Bianchi. Her eyes, hidden behind her yellow goggles, scanned frantically for her brother and she spotted him...

...with Yamamoto, who was too damn close to her cute little brother for her liking.

Yamamoto's athletic senses sparked as he felt the need to use his super-human reflexes.

Reborn's finger hovered over the speed-dial for Emergencies just in case.

I-pin and the rest evacuated.

"**YAMAMOTO TAKESHI, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY BROTHER**?"

Her shriek echoed like a cannon blast.

"Ah, uh―" Yamamoto frantically waved around a hand, looking incredibly nervous (and guilty, by the way) as he tried find a way to calm the raging assassin, and Bianchi took the time to ready some of her treacherous cooking.

"**GIVE ME BACK HAYATO**!"

"Uh, Tsuna!" Yamamoto sent SOS signals to Tsuna, who put on his 27 gloves in case a battle royale started. When Gokudera shifted, Bianchi's eyes fell upon his Pokemon shirt and shorts with a raised eyebrow; _what the hell was her brother __**wearing**_?

It was obvious some blood needed to be spilled. Bianchi rounded on Yamamoto.

"You damned..._sicko_," she seethed, eyes clouded with fury, "Making my Hayato dress like that when he didn't even dress like that when he was 3!" Yamamoto gulped and protectively shielded Gokudera, who blinked as he squinted at Bianchi.

"Now, come and die now―" She advanced menacingly.

"_Onee-san!_"

Everyone felt like they were electrocuted to silence. Bianchi stared at her brother, her mouth slightly agape as he wore his nowadays-trademark beam, as though he loved everything and detested violence. He stood up. "_Onee-san_, I've missed you!"

With his newly-acquired cuteness, the softened eyes and smoother voice from the absence of rough swear words and cigarettes, Gokudera Hayato could win over even his sister with the kiddish, innocent smile he wore right now.

Suddenly, Bianchi dropped her Poison Cooking onto the ground and walked over to Gokudera slowly, bangs shadowing her eyes from view. Everyone flinched, waiting in baited silence. Then...

"I don't like the fact Yamamoto Takeshi was playing around with Hayato...but..." She suddenly hugged her brother close to her chest with a blush present on her face. "I'll forgive it because my brother is _so _cute right now! He has _never _said he missed me before!" she said in a voice she usually reserved for doting on Reborn, rubbing cheeks with Gokudera while he merely smiled happily. Let's erase the fact he was about a foot taller than her now.

_'There's a really good reason for why he never missed you. -.-'' _thought Tsuna from a little way away.

Reborn smiled; yes, the unity of the Family was indeed deepening. _Yosh_.

"Amazing, even Bianchi-san..." whispered Haru in awe, who had just returned and was peering around the door. Yamamoto just breathed a sigh of relief, smiling at the two siblings who were closer than they ever were in their entire life.

"But tell me, Reborn," Bianchi said, eyed turning suddenly hawk-like as she glared at Yamamoto, shifting her goggles up on top of her head, "What exactly happened?"

Tsuna stared at her, dumbfounded. _'You happened, that's what! It's your fault he became like this!'_

Gokudera turned and stared Bianchi straight in the face. He jerked once, almost imperceptibly. Then, coincidently (or maybe not so), blood leaked from the side of his mouth in a slow dribble.

There was a still silence.

Reborn gave a small smile which resembled a smirk. "Let's go have some tea first, how about it?"

Hope had just come…even if in the form of internal bleeding.

:.

"I see..." murmured Bianchi, sitting at the dining table with a look of wonder. Reborn, on her immediate right, merely nodded.

"_Un_."

Tsuna merely sat there, drinking a cup of coffee.

Gokudera sat on the floor a little way away, learning how to fold paper flowers. Yamamoto tucked one in Gokudera's hair and gave his win-any-girl smile. Gokudera let out a very un-Gokudera-ish smile in return, latching himself to Yamamoto affectionately.

The coffee promptly flew out of Tsuna's mouth.

"Wow, he has really changed," commented Reborn casually as Tsuna's cheek hit the table lifelessly into the pool of spilt coffee.

"Indeed...but that Yamamoto Takeshi better not do anything to my Hayato."

"..." (- this is Tsuna, brain dead).

"I guess even if Hayato _is _adorable right now, he has to change back," sighed Bianchi, resting her cheek on her hand, goggles once again clad over her eyes. "Though I wouldn't mind him like this every once in a while."

"Though maybe not to this extreme."

"Indeed."

"..."

Reborn sighed.

"We'll just have to hope that tomorrow he's back to normal. Bianchi, you and Gokudera should stay here for the night; maybe some more interaction with you might jolt him out of his state." Reborn rounded on Tsuna. "You tell maman about the situation."

Tsuna blew lifeless bubbles into the coffee in response.

:.

_The Next Day_

The most horrifying nerve-racking, blood-chilling scream rang out through the street where the Sawada household resided.

A male's voice.

"WHAT THE F-! YOU FREAKIN' BASEBALL IDIOT!"

Everyone in the house bolted upright from their sleeping positions, except for Yamamoto, who merely rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Hm, what's the ruckus―" He was punched about a meter away and was sprawled on the ground, once again unconscious.

Tsuna, Reborn, Nana, I-pin, Bianchi and Dino came rushing out to the lounge. "Yamamoto, what's wron―Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna's eyes shifted to an unconscious Yamamoto's form. "Y-Yamamoto?"

Gokudera was sitting upright inside a fuuton...the same fuuton he found Yamamoto practically sprawled in from his own fuuton, _hugging _him nonetheless. He glared daggers into the wall before him before he roared:

"WHAT THE F(CENSORED) IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?"

Dynamite was already clutched between angrily trembling fingers.

Tsuna practically cried in relief in response.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Almost-the-end?

It ended pretty abruptly, but then again this was just a crack/humour fic I wrote on whim years and years ago.

I decided to type up an omake/extra/epilogue-ish short of thing to close the whole crack!fic down. Stick around for it soon!

And if you want an insight on what to expect, it will involve a bit of the aftermath, and strangely enough, Mukuro and co. Lol.

Thanks for reading! Cheers!


End file.
